try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
