i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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