i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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