you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
