I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
