There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Green mimosas i think yes
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
