so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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