Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
