He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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