I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She's the barista slut.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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