it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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