Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
