After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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