I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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