The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
