And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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