Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
