We won't sleep together?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
