What a fucking waste of an outfit
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
