From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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