she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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