Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i need some magic done to my vagina
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
