If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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