I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
