Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize