so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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