we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
