Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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