i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
