I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
