Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
