I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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