you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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