The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
