I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
