Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
