Already got asked if we're dating
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize