Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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