I would go down on you faster than GM stock
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
