I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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