Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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