For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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