I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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