The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize