you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
