It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
