i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
