Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
