You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He better not be in your backpack
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
