i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
