Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
