Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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