Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
last night I used snow as a chaser
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
