I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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