its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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