Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
