He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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