just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
